Quick Funny Stories

No major thoughts today that I'm ready to write down but I do have a few funny stories I want to record before I forget.

Owen a.k.a. Spazmatron 2008 has been up to his normal shenanigans lately. On Sunday the boys and I went to the movies to see Puss In Boots. (It was okay, but don't waste your time unless your kids really want to see it or you need to get out of the house.)  He was all over the place and not at all captivated by the cute cat on the screen. At one point he quite calmly tells me he is stuck. Stuck on what? To me it looks like he's just standing there. He says his arm is stuck and only then do I realize in the dark theater that my child has shoved his arm into the round cup holder on the arm rest of the chair. He is clear up to his shoulder. I had a very panicky moment when I didn't think I would be able to get him out. I mean, who do you call for that? Would an usher or a manager really be able to do any more than I could? Would they have to stop the movie and bring in the fire department? What if he starts panicking and cries and screams? Luckily after about 30 horrifying seconds he was free and all was well. Sheesh!

A couple days ago after I got Owen out of the bath and wrapped in a towel. We were in his room and I was getting out jammies. He puts on this insane deep voice out of nowhere and says, "Behold! The amazing Haffo!" and then throws his towel to the floor. You have to laugh, but it's also a bit disturbing to have a 3 year old exhibitionist. I seriously don't know where he heard that. He also told me tonight that he couldn't find one of his toys and it was probably in another dimension. That one I get because that's just how we talk in our house. I would really like to know who Haffo is! Or maybe I wouldn't....

Collin and I have been reading the Harry Potter books and we're now on the third one, Prisoner of Azkaban. It's odd how reading them out loud in the company of a 5 year old makes some things stand out more than when I read the over and over again myself. As Harry grows up the books mature with him. This one had two swear words in one of the early chapters. We talked about 'damn'. He has heard that before on TV and knows it's a bad word and he's not allowed to say it. I told him that if he ever said it at school he would be sent to the principal's office because that's about as scary as it gets when you're in Kindergarten. Then we got to 'bitch'. They were talking about a dog, so really it wasn't a bad word but I don't want any misunderstandings so I explained the double meaning. I also explained that this would land him in principal's office if uttered at school. He says, "Okay, I know! Stop saying that, you're freaking me right out! I'm not going to say that word!" Har har! But it gets better... He thinks for a minute and asks what if he needs to talk about that place with all the sand next to the ocean? Totally different word. That tricky English language! You can still talk about the beach all you want. :-)

He also told me the other day that he learned in computer class that "You should never EVER try to force a flash drive into a USB port because that will break the whole computer." Wow! Flash drives in Kindergarten? He will be doing Calculus by next Tuesday.