Sunday, March 2, 2014

One Year Later....

It's been one year since my Daddy went to Heaven. It's still sad. If you missed it, you can read about it here.

I think about him all the time and it's getting a little less sad, which in itself makes me sad. In some ways I know I'm lucky because we got to have a long goodbye. My grieving started long before he was gone because I lost him in stages, but I still have times when I'd like to talk to him or ask him questions. And even though it's been years now since he was capable of it, I still wish I could call him to help me fix things when they get broken. I think of him whenever I do anything involving tools because when I open my toolbox the smell reminds me of him. I think he would be proud of me for that shelf I put up a couple months ago. He was always proud of me. He always loved me and did anything he could for me. If there's one thing I want my boys to be able to say about me it's that they always knew I loved them.

Dear Daddy,
     I miss you. I've been okay. I was sick a lot last year. I just had sinus surgery last month so hopefully I won't be sick as much now. My nose still hurts some. My job is good, I'm staying busy like always. I miss how you used to come up to work and take me out to lunch. Thank you for all those times you drove so far just to spend an hour with me.
     Timothy is good. He's still surveying and he likes his job pretty well. He got a promotion last summer and he gets to be the boss now. You would be proud of him.
     Collin is 8 years old and in 2nd grade this year. He is really smart and funny and he eats all the time! He is also the absolute best big brother in the world. He talks about you and misses you.
     Owen is 5 and in Kindergarten now. Can you believe how big he is? He is getting really good at reading, even though he still likes to pretend he can't read sometimes when he's feeling lazy. He's having his tonsils taken out in a few days because of his sleep apnea. I tell him that he snores just like his Papa. He talks about you a lot too, but he's not sad. He can't find a reason to be sad because you're in Heaven.
     I love you a lot,


  1. Oh my sweet, sweet Janet! My heart goes out to you today as you miss your daddy. Sending you Texas-sized hugs! I love your letter. :)

  2. I don't know why I didn't comment on this weeks ago... really thought I did...
    Your boys will always know how much you love them just like your dad knew how much you loved him! I love Owen's perspective, that he can't be sad because Papa is in heaven.
    I know for me the first year after my Dad died was the hardest, and you have had some other really tough times in the last year. I pray for you that the happy memories outweigh the sadness more and more in the next year.